This past weekend I saved Mr. Brit’s life. I really did.
He was about to die because of his Britishness.
Now, I know that saying that might make “Britishness” sound as if it was a disease — and sometimes, believe me, it has to be treated as such. But he was about to die because he’s been used to looking the wrong side of the darn road for his entire life.
Yes, I am perfectly aware that all UK citizens will now cheekily say: “The rest of the world drives on the wrong side of the road. We drive on the right side.” But then how do you explain the recent “LOOK!” signs all over New York’s streets, which have been springing like mushrooms in autumn at every corner? Surely, the city of New York must have had an increased number of injured Commonwealth citizens that were boldly trying to cross the road — looking the wrong side before doing so.
Anyhow, we were leisurely biking around the city yesterday, when I had to yell “Stop!!!!” just in time for Mr. Brit to hit his breaks and avoid the car that was coming and almost running him over.
This happened twice.
Therefore, I assume that after years and years in the States, and New York City’s latest “LOOK!” warning signs, Mr. Brit hasn’t learned how to cross the road in a safe manner yet. This is somehow worrisome.
Fair enough, in Italy parents teach their kids to cross the road by looking “first left, then right and then left again” — just because I suppose in Italy you are never sure of anything, so it’s better to always double check.
Well, I guess English parents should warn their little ones and tell them that:
A. they have to be very flexible with their road crossing skills and be open to the possibility that what they’ve learned when they were kids might be reversed if they move to another country
B. if they really want to move abroad, Australia is definitely a better and safer option.